Cat Haiku and Limericks
by Mystitat
Summary: CATS A little collection of hilarious haiku and limericks based on Cats characters. More to come!
1. Default Chapter

Cat Haiku/Limericks

Okay, these have been floating around in my signature on JM (a really cool CATS forum on which you can find me as Mystitat), and someone suggested I get them all together, so here they are!

Note: if you don't know already, haiku is a kind of Japanese poetry in which the first line has five syllables, the second has seven syllables, and the third has five syllables. It's usually used for nature poetry, but I really like the spin it puts on Cats. Interpret them as you like. Limericks are fun little kids' poems with a very fun cadence. You'll remember as soon as you read one. They almost always start out: "There once was _something_ from _something_..."

* * *

Haiku:

Some say I like them.  
They think I adore kittens.  
They're really a pain.  
-Jellylorum

Mom doesn't like me.  
She screams when I wake her up.  
My claws aren't that sharp!  
-Electra

Alonzo sits there.  
He does not see me. ZAP!! Run!  
Misto strikes again!

Oh, little Misto.  
You underestimate me.  
I know where you sleep.  
-Alonzo

Let me outside, now!  
Oh shoot! Help!! I got outside!!  
Let me back inside!!  
-Tugger

Kittens are crazy.  
Run around and scream all day.  
I'm so glad I'm one!  
-Pouncival

Misto says he's magic.  
I know truth. He's really not.  
It's all done with string.  
-Alonzo

I don't get Bomby.  
She sits with me, then she leaves.  
Could it be my breath?  
-Rum Tum Tugger

Tugger, that's silly  
Brick fell on you on its own.  
Why'd you think it's me?  
-Tumblebrutus

Oh, come on, Vicky.  
You know that I cannot do that.  
Love spells are too hard.  
-Mistoffelees

Etcy's notes to self:  
Tugger does not like feathers.  
Don't read Misto's books.

Misto's notes to self:  
Ask Cori about new spells.  
Get a great big lock.

Macavity's notes:  
Jellicles are on to you.  
Don't use warehouses.

Grizabella's note:  
Get rid of cheap mascera.  
It's not waterproof.

Macavity's note:  
When shorting out lights at Ball,  
Remember flashlight.

Pounce's notes:  
Do not scratch Grizabella,  
Munkustrap spanks hard.

Munku's notes:  
At Jellicle Ball next year,  
Just do talent show.

* * *

Limericks 

Alonzo just wanted to play.  
"But I can't!" Tumblebrutus would say.  
"I must stay in bed!  
Jennyanydots said.  
I ate some of her students today."

There once was a magical cat,  
Who brought seven kittens right out of a hat!  
But there was s'posed to be eight.  
One had a bad fate.  
He got stuck because he was too fat!

There once was a curious cat,  
Who preferred a nice house to a flat.  
He was often kicked out,  
But he didn't pout.  
He had finding new families down pat!

There once was a nice Gumbie cat,  
Who would teach all the mice and the rats.  
But they didn't like school.  
It wasn't too cool.  
So she ate them and got really fat!

* * *

A/N: be sure to tell me what you think! More to come (hopefully)!


	2. haiku limericks 2: this time, it's not h...

Yay! More haiku and limericks!

Haiku:

Skimble's note to self:  
When directing baggage boys,  
Don't leave tail on tracks.

Jenny's notes to self:  
Beetles overpopulate.  
Get a roach motel.

I should change my name.  
People get wrong ideas.  
"Munkustrap" sounds... wrong.  
(Oh, admit it! You thought so too, the first time you heard it!)

My name's like Munku's.  
"Rumpleteazer" sounds wrong, too.  
Who comes up with these?

Journals and letters:  
They're popular, but still odd.  
Can cats even write?

They should have told me.  
Was it nice to wax the floor?  
No! Now my arse hurts...  
-Jellylorum

The game of kiss-tag.  
You tag cats by kissing them.  
How could it go wrong?

Limericks:

There once was a great Rumpus Cat  
Who would get all the mean dogs to scat,  
The cats danced to his song,  
But they got it all wrong!  
So he made fun of Munkus for that!

There once was a cat of much fur,  
But her humans didn't really like her.  
So she'd sit on their chair,  
And shed all her hair.  
So they'd have to clean up for sure!

There once was a bright railway tom,  
Who'd make sure that nothing went wrong.  
When the luggage is lost,  
He knows where it's tossed.  
So he'll fetch it without any qualm!


End file.
